Egad

I think it may be imminent in man's nature to be unthankful. A couple of months ago, I was out on the streets of New York in the blistering heat on my feet all day hoping that I could get the next hustling and bustling New Yorker to stop for me so I could talk to him about the importance of the Democrats in the White House come this fall. I certainly did get my feet wet in face to face solicitation and learned some valuable skills that I've applied at this job. However, this job that I viewed as a dream come true a couple of weeks ago has turned into a life sucking bitch from which there is no escape. Dont get me wrong, the perks are great, the car, the hotel, paying for gas, anticipatory bonuses but there are also drawbacks that are just as heavy. For one, I'm completely isolated, I'm in the office all day, alone until the callers show up, at which point, I'm still in the office. I get back to my hotel, and again, I'm alone. When I stop to think about it, the possibility of mental collapse becomes more and more real. Then I, in my loneliest of loneliness think to myself, if I had someone living with me, would I be able to put up with their bullshit, how easily would I become annoyed? It's a paradox, you see. The other issue is that everytime you move up in the workplace, you view things from a different lens. When you're promoted from caller to Assistant Supervisor, you have a little bit of power but you're still a caller, you're the bridge between caller and management. When you become a Supervisor, you gain more standing, you're off the phones and in a position of leadership, your focus is on motivating the callers. But when you make another leap to become coordinator, you have to view things from a dirty lens, money money money. How much money did you bring in last year and how are you going to bump it up a notch? Fuck the callers, who gives a shit about the callers, they're dispensable. If they dont like it, tough shit. The goal is to raise a wad load of money. I'm a man of the people, always have been and always will be but when my superiors tell me that the callers are making up bullshit when in fact I know that with the economy tanking and this university's alums having no school spirit, it's an imperative issue. But nuh-uh, not to the bosses, not to corporate Amerca. They're turning me into a monster. I thought that working here, I'd have the show to myself, I'd be doing my thing. But I'm constantly number crunching, looking up reports, doing updates and sending them in. It seems as though, every other day I have a meeting where I'm reporting numbers to this person or that, most of those people are just names to me. Where do we stand now, what are we projecting for the end of the year, are we going to make our projections, what happens if we dont, what's our contingency plan? I guess, maybe this is just company standards and I'm not used to it. It would have been a lot easier if it was just a University thing and not a company sponsoring a coordinator to run the T-fund. Maybe there's a reason that its called 'working' and not fun. I'm pretty good at what I do, if I do say so myself. I guess I should enjoy this sadistic ride as long as I can. Ugh, am I being an ungrateful little bitch?